Gabe

Gabe is a really cool kid. He's my first baby that is now eleven years old.

Eleven going on sixteen.

He's matured quicker than other kids his age and in his class. In fact, he's one of the younger ones in his class because he has a summer birthday. His voice dropped early, he's taller, he has peach fuzz - you get the picture.

Is he embarrassed? Not a bit. He loves it.

I don't love it. I want him to be little again. He doesn't even have to be a baby. Just younger, maybe by a few years.

This "tween" phase is really annoying. I remember being in it myself - those middle school years - and they were annoying to me then, too. Those were perhaps the hardest years of my adolescent life. I don't think they'll be quite as hard for Gabe. He's a likable kid and makes friends easily.

But it's still hard on me! The mother! Middle school years have come to haunt me again!

He hates everything except for things that are the color black, music, and video games. If you try to deviate from those three things, he gets awfully upset.

I admittedly spoiled him. I was a single mom for the first part of his life so I spoiled him. My philosophy was that he wasn't going to go without just because he only had one parent. That hasn't turned out so well because now he has this sense of entitlement and hasn't really had to work for anything. It drives me insane that I have created this in him.

Another thing I didn't count on was that he would be embarrassed of ME! His mother! I'm twenty-frickin-nine years old. I thought for sure that since I was a young parent (which he used to be embarrassed about when he was six because his friends thought his older sister was picking him up, but now he thinks that part is cool that he has the youngest parents out of all his friends) I was in the clear!

Wrong. Turns out it doesn't matter what age you are, if you are a parent, you are no longer cool. Damn, I thought I dodged that bullet.

I think the thing that has rattled me the most is that we had this bond all his life and it doesn't feel like he's very bonded to me lately.

So I'm looking for things to add some diversity to his life this summer. Things that don't have anything to do with sleeping in until noon, video games, and complaining.

He is a good boy, though. It's just a tough age for kids and parents, I guess.

Oy, we're not even in the teens yet. Say some prayers for me, please.